Top 10 Christmas gifts not to get your wife...

I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas, so I'll do it in the way I know how... with an incredibly stupid top 10 list!

This is one that... sure to offend some! :) It's a list of Christmas shopping tips for husbands, but for those that miss the cynicism, this should be titled, "The Top 10 Christmas Gift Ideas NOT to get Your Wife!"

Women... I apologize ahead of time! :)

10. A brand new apron. This way she won't get anything on he clothes while she is cooking your dinner.

9. Don't let your wife push around a mower all the time, get her a new self-propelled mower! This way she won't be too tired to cook your dinner.

8. Women love a romantic dinner, so why not take her to a place that says "i love you" And nothing says I love you like a great wing or steak place!

7. You know how your wife loves meaningful communication and a good listener. So this year get that perfect listening ear.. The Olympic digital recorder.

6. You wife would just love a brand new shotgun.

5. You know how hard it is to eat right during the holidays. This year get her a case of Slim fast! Perfect for after and easy too!

4. A brand new Blue Ray DVD player! Wives are all into pixels and screen resolution so why not get her somethign she will love! While your at it throw in a couple of great chick flicks like Terminator & Braveheart!

3. Power tools! The bigger the better!

2. Lingerie... The less comfortable the better.

1. Lastly here is a gift that says I am really thinking ahead. You know it's about to happen, it does very regularly. The gift that says "I love you so much" Midol.

Trust me... This works~!